Creating a More Confident Next Generation

When I was a child, I always resented being put at the kids table. Now that I’m an adult (apparently), I stare at the children’s table with jealousy. While the adults are confusing opinions with facts in their never-ending attempt to “win” debates—a concept which itself is inherently paradoxical—the kids are imagining entire planets into existence and giving voice to the fork and spoon on the table, so obviously in love, yet separated by the large, treacherous plate.

Kids have a way of tapping into creativity with an ease most adults should gravely envy. There are no limits and no questions into the depths of their imagination. And when their creativity is triggered, they speak with an ease most of us would kill for.

But somewhere along the line—a point which is, unfortunately, arriving earlier and earlier—this childhood imagination is being squashed and molded into a more refined, self-conscious image. Girls are told to suck in their stomachs, and so they lose their natural breathing technique. Boys are told their emotions should be kept to private moments, if ever shown at all, and so they lose their sense of strength in public vulnerability. These societal pressures, among many others, result in a community of young people in dire need of speech coaching.

So why is it that we hold off on speech coaching until children reach adulthood? By that point there are countless essential learning years that have gone to waste, and there are years of self conscious behavior that need to be stripped away.

And therein lies the larger point. The technical skills in speech coaching play a surprisingly secondary role over all. In reality, in my work, I teach techniques as stepping stones toward the ultimate skill: confidence. And childhood, and especially adolescence, is the most optimal time for confidence building.

Confidence Boosting exercise at Kinneret Day School

Cognitively speaking, middle school is around the age where children form opinions, and a little after that, they recognize that their opinions differ from the opinions around them. But knowing what you think does not automatically mean you can confidently communicate those thoughts with ease.

The fact of the matter is there are not enough resources for young people to learn proper confidence and communication. That is why I created Youthspkn and have made it a fundamental part of Outspkn to work with young people. Through school workshops and one-on-one coaching and editing session, Youthspkn helps young people develop skills to become outspoken from the time they are young and feel the tremendous effects of that confidence for the rest of their lives.

Whether we are at the colorful kids table or the drab adult table, there is always work to be done in talking to one another and speaking up for ourselves. We shouldn’t wait to become fragile adults in dire need of help. Let’s build up our younger generation to be great communicators, confidently and effortlessly outspoken.

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